Longing

Its scary to see what came true

All those years, and here you are

Front of me, standing- watching me approach

Its like the years has rewind, the time went back

8 years ago that very day, you stood there waiting for me

watching me walk over to you.

Those curved lips and the longing eyes….

Watching, wanting, craving to touch you

5 years later here you are watching me approach you

I am angry, i am upset, but i forgave you.

I want to touch you, feel you, hold you in my arms smell your presence

I held myself back, curling my fingers in a fist digging my own nails in my palms.

Its hurts, it hurts so damn bad to be sitting next to you

Knowing, feeling your presence

But you are not here

You are not next to me

You left me many years ago

You didnt look back

You didnt care

You didnt wonder

You didnt bother even for a bit—- “ i have to call her”

You just left

And you think its okay to come back and apologize

With the most ridiculas excuse for leaving me that day and never turn around

You made your choice and you dont get to say otherwise

You left!!!!

Rape

Rape

Rape is not grabbing someone

Throwing them and holding them down and forcing yourself into her

Rape is -when i say “no”

Rape is -not feeling like it, but ur manipulating me into having sex

Rape is having to have sex with you so you will do as i need

Rape is when you wont be nice to me

When you wont be considerate

When you wont do anything for me

Because i have to have sex with you

Rape is when you punish me for not having sex

And rewarding me when we have sex

Rape is not only when a girl is physically abused to make her weak and force yourself into her day after day — night after night

I felt guilty, i felt like i owe you. I felt like i had to had sex with you

I had to give that to you

Because i felt like that was the only way to make you love me

Make you do something for me

Take me out and spend time

I felt like every time your nice to me

Your doing something nice for me

I should have sex with you

When you fight with me, say all the bad things to me

Avoid me , i feel like his not happy with me

I should have sex with him

I never felt i am willingly getting intimate with you

I was always depressed afterward

Especially even then your still nasty with me

Especially when you dont give a damn about the wonderful moment we had, and continue to be mean with me

THAT IS RAPE……

Rape is when you care about you first, and push me away afterward and avoid me

Rape does not only happen between strangers as criminal act

Rape happens between husband and wife

Girlfriend and boyfriend

And its not only about forcing yourself into her directly

There are many ways that are indirect, and is considered rape

That is left untold, unnoticed, unrecognized and left denied

Love not only can bring two soul together, love can push away the loved one too

Love is trust

Love is honesty

Love is respect

Love is being considerate

Love is sacrifice

Love is being supportive

Love is pain

Love is happiness

Love is romance

Love means watching the clock and waiting when will you see him

Love is restless heart wanting to hear his voice

Love is feeling, smiling at his every thoughts

Love is looking into his eyes and seeing yourself in his sparkling eyes

Love is bungie jumping, and feeling all the emotions getting mixed up in knots and not knowing what your feeling but you are feeling everything

Love is the adrenaline rush of excitement you feel in you belly knowing he loves you back

Love is love

Simply love

Love can live on incomplete

Love completes

Love hurts

Love heals

Love is eternity times eternity

Love is unexplainable

The overwhelmness of the heart

The unexplained anxiety

Love is “JUST LOVE”

Its LOVE

Love is unconditional ❤️🥀

Late night thoughts

Theres so much thoughts when you have to sleep at night

Thinking thinking thinking thinking

Why

How

What

Where

When

If only

What if

I wished

I hope

I want

I need

I need to

Yes

No

Thinking thinking thinking thinking

It’s all piles up, in the brain, in the heart

And goes all tupsy turvey abd twisty and becomes a huge knot😒🙄😞🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

And you’re laying there, staring into space

Trying to untie all the knots

Solve all the equations

No sleep 😳😳🙄🙄🙄

Waves of life

What do you do with emotions

Where do you keep them

How do you take care of them

Why do we feel the way we do

How do you accept change

The changes occurs so fast

In a blink of an eye, something new is happening

At time its a blessing

At another time, its a curse

Or a punishment

Or a lesson

As soon as you pass by a moment

and you think, “glad thats over” and you get to relax now

Everything is quiet, all around you is calm

And you live on, go with the days flow

The clock does its thing, around and around

One day after another

and then, right when you thought this is it

Its over

Its not…… another episode starts

And you find yourself in trench of time all over again

All the mixed emotions just builds up

And builds up and builds up

And you find yourself lost

Empty with heavy heart

What do you do then?

You ignore all the feelings, swallow all the scream wanting to come out, erase every tear just waiting to burst out AND you live on….

You go with the flow of the days

The clock doing its thing

Round and round it goes

And life goes on

Waterfall of emotions

i am in a waterfall of emotions

I love that i love you

I love that you are there without being here

I love your love for me

I love your time that you make for me even though you dont get chance

I love that you hate having to say goodbye, but you have to

I love that your heart achs for me

I know that not all love story needs a happy ending

But knowing your love for me

And how much your heart yarns for me

Is all the happiness i won

Your smile is everything

Seeing you smile, tells me my life is worth living

I know you wont be there oneday

I know you will be gone forever oneday

But i will know you are happy and your smiling

Is the love i am proud to love

And loving you gives me hope

That love is unconditional

Love doesnt have to be complete for its fullfilment

And my life is complete because you love me

Left behind

You never loved me

Never wanted me

You were never mine

You just passed time with me

Until you got bored

Then you made excuse

Then you left

Broke my heart

Made me cry

Day and night

You were selfish

You were heartless

You didn’t care

Why your back today?

Why come back?

Why so mercy?

Why be pity?

For leaving me that day?

You didn’t care what i went through for years

You dont care today

You moved on

You have wife now

You say you love me

How is that love?

Where is that love?

The love that lives in incomplete?

The love that always hurts

Today your not mine either

Your are someone elses

You will leave me again

You will hurt me again

My heart will be broke again

You will make me cry again

You never understood me

Never understood my love

I know, my heart know the love i loved you

The want i wanted you

Why you’re back today

Why show love that was never there?

🌹❤️

Love is complicated

Too little love can ruin a relationship

Too much love can ruin a relationship

Theres always needs to be balance

In how much love you should show to that significiant other

OR

How little love you should hide from that significiant other

If loving too much can push away the loved one

Have a control over your heart

Dont show, that too much love. Give what can be taken, because not everyone can handle too much love